When one thinks of Lou Reed thoughts of the Velvet Underground and a huge influence on American rock music since the 1970s and when one thinks of Metallica it is either they are sell outs or legends of heavy metal. The album “Lulu” only proves one thing: Reed’s usual nonsensical lyrics do not match up with Metallica’s raw hard-edged heavy metal sound. Written as a conceptualized version of a German play by director Robert Wilson this album was approached with an open mind and high hopes that this would be a bomb to help rock the foundations of the music industry; instead it proved to be a footnote on most hardcore internet joke sites.
“Lulu” is not the worst thing that Metallica has ever helped turn out; the 2003 travesty “St. Anger” still proves to be a harder listen, since Lulu presents solid instrument playing. Where this album does come close to stinking as much is in the nonsensical lyrics written by Reed and the odd way that he sings and talks at the same time. For this reason, the majority of songs are completely boring and are painful to listen to, the worst one being “Frustration” simply for how obtuse Reed’s lyrics are. The other hair-pulling track on this album is “Cheat on Me,” mainly due to the fact that Hetfield and Reed both sound like tired old men in it.
The only partially enjoyable track is “Brandenburg Gate” for the carefree guitar playing and it being one of the few songs on the album in which Reed’s reciting can manage a good laugh. The second contender for being okay (at best) is “Pumping Blood” for the instruments changing the tone of the song at many points by changing their rhythm and melodies.
“Lulu” should only be listened too by Hardcore Lou Reed fans, those who laugh at incredibly cheesy things, or those looking to improve their general tolerance for terrible music. Otherwise this album should be avoided and maybe be buried out with the old ET Atari cartridges in the southwestern desert as it is not worth the price one pays for it at stores or the loss of faith in old teen rock music heroes caused by this utter letdown.
Rating: *
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